Did someone say iPhone? Wait, can you say it again?

Today’s biggest news is certainly Apple unveiling its new line of iProducts. No doubt you’ve already been bombarded by live blogs of the event, summaries of what you need to know, updates, and ecstatic exclamations of gleeful abandon about the wonderful new iPhone. Maybe the world’s ever growing faction of Apple fandom makes you a bit queasy. Or maybe you just can’t get enough. So that’s where this blog comes in, dear reader, let’s plunge deeper into the rabbit hole of iPhun together shall we?

First the recap – The iPhone 5 is thinner, wider, faster, and downright sexier than its predecessor, of course. The screen is now a 4-inch 16:9 full sRGB completely redesigned touchscreen technological breakthrough. The camera now shoots panoramic images with a mere swipe through the air, image capture is quicker, and you can take stills while recording 1080p video. The battery life is longer. The new A6 CPU processor is twice as fast. It operates on 4g LTE. It has a new smaller, tighter port, called ‘Lightning,’ which requires a separate $30 adapter to use with all your old accessories. Why? Don’t ask questions, just consume! It’s better. Trust me. Why are you still using that crappy old iPhone for God’s sake?

Now what might really concern us audio-minded individuals are upgrades to the microphones, built in speakers, and earbuds. With the new iPhone you get not just one, not even just two, but THREE microphones, located on the front, back and bottom, to improve call and sound recording quality. Surprisingly, they’ve even thrown in noise canceling technology, so you (hopefully) won’t have to struggle to hear the person on the other end over the din of the coffeeshop or rock club anymore. Voice calls (if supported by the carrier) will also be boosted by “wideband audio,” using more of the available bandwidth spectrum to deliver your buddy’s voice straight into your earhole. The speakers are packed with 5 magnet transducers, up from the previous 3 (see Apple didn’t even stop at upgrading to just 4 because they care, they really do care about you). Finally, the new earbuds are now called EarPods, because they are made out of microscopic iPods assembled by chinese factory worker fetuses to make your listening experience better. Because we are Americans and we deserve nothing less.

Pricing is the same as past releases, $199 for 16GB, $299 for 32GB, and $399 for 64GB (with a 2 year contract of course) and is available in black or white. The good news is that the 4S model’s price has dropped to $99 and the iPhone 4 is now free. You can start pre-ordering iPhone 5 this Friday 9/14 in the US.

Apple has also revamped the iPod Nano to look like a tiny iPhone, and added Siri to the now multicolored iPod Touch. iOS 6 will see some changes as well, most notably a new Maps app (Google and Apple broke up a few months ago) with turn-by-turn directions (FINALLY!), Facebook integration, and  a redesigned iTunes store, among other amazing technological advancements like finally allowing Facetime to operate over cellular networks instead of WIFI only. The new iOS will be available 9/19. An iTunes update was released today and there will be a totally new version in late October. What fun! No word on the rumored iPad mini though…

Now I am as much of an Apple addict as the next fool (although I have been growing more attracted to the PC laptop’s junky charm lately) but one thing I cannot abide is the fact that the most “valuable company in the world” can’t afford to treat its workers humanely. That is a whole other story that should be considered alongside all the hoopla of this iPhun frenzy. Educate yourself and sign this damn petition here.

So obviously there is a lot of lust surrounding this little gem, but what does it all mean for music technology? The iPhone and its millions of apps have undoubtedly revolutionized the world of composing music. I fully intend to write about music apps I enjoy, a plethora of which I haven’t even begun to fully “tap” into yuk yuk. What are some of your favorite music creation apps?